Pity Party

For the past couple days, I've been feeling pretty crappy. It started Sunday, and even though it was a beautiful warm sunshiney day, I was right on the edge of  'blah'. Fortunately my hubby got me out of the house and out into the warm spring air, and I was ok most of the day.

Sunday night and Monday, I moved fully into blah-dom. No energy, no interest, no nothing. Then Monday afternoon I find out that I have been mysteriously cut from this Six Sigma greenbelt class I was supposed to start. As in, it started yesterday - and no one could be bothered to tell me I would not be participating. I had no idea it was even going on until someone mentioned someone else was in the class. As of a month ago, my name was on the list.

What gives???  This was going to add some serious brownie points to my resume!

So I sent my boss an email asking what happened, and I got completely ignored.

Freaking lovely. If for some reason I couldn't do my project this go 'round, could you not have the decency to tell me?! And when I find out, can you not have the balls to explain WTF happened???

I've been with this company for 10 yrs. I've been in this department for 5. Every review, I get told I am the backbone of the team, a major asset to the company, blah blah blah. But this is what I get? I handle projects far above my pay scale, I deal with issues that should be handled by senior staff..... but I am always passed by and over looked when the kudos and the job offers come around.

I am so sick of this. I've got to find something else.


....whew. That was much more of a rant than I was planning.

So back to the point, I've moved from merely 'blah' to full on depressed. I just want to hide under the covers with my cats and not face the outside world.

I took the day off today, because I really didn't know if I could go in and not tell someone where to stick it.

So I've moped around in my pj's for the entire day. I was calling it a "mental health day", but its really a good old fashioned Pity Party.

On a slightly more positive (and diet related) note, at least I am not feeding my face, as I would typically do during a pity party.

Last night as I was peeling out of work, my first thought was "I want ice cream". Followed quickly by "I could stop by Sonic, get some ice cream and some corn dogs"

Not too long ago, I probably would've done it.

But I stopped myself. I came home, and whether it was real hunger or emotional hunger - I wanted food. So I had a toasted sandwich thin with cucumbers, tomatoes, and hummus. An hour or so later, I was still wanting more, so I ate another of those hummus sandwiches.

My husband stopped by Wendy's on the way home, and I had a Single, no cheese and no mayo. Not the best thing for me, for sure.... but I stayed within my daily points range,

I feel like my weight may be up or about the same this week. While that sucks, I think it's because Shark Week is in full effect (which is also the likely cause for my mental status) and I've also had more sodium from processed foods than normal.

I think next week will be better.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Can I have some cheese with my whine?

What would happen?

It's Lent, and it's Friday, so you know what that means.... no meat. Jamey and I have decided to get a pizza tonight. I love pizza. I'm a total guy (even though I'm not). Pizza, hot wings, beer.... I'm a happy girl.

 But I digress.....

So we're getting pizza, which is obviously not the healthiest thing. So this completely alien thought sprang to mind, ".... what would happen if I asked for light cheese?"

What would happen???

Would they think it's a crank call and hang up?

Would the Earth shift off it's axis? The poles reverse?

Would it cause a rift in the time-space continuum, unleashing hordes of alien zombies onto the planet?

It's a gamble, I'm not going to lie..... so if you see any alien zombies.............well, I'm sorry.

In other news.

This week has had it's share of ups and downs, that's for sure. Wed and Thurs I was in an amazingly crappy mood, ready to bite someones head of at the slightest provocation. That irritability of course ratcheted up my urge to stuff my face something fierce... but I'm happy to announce that not only did I make good food choices and refrain from my post work snack fests, I also made it through Happy Hour yesterday! I did have couple drinks (which I had planned for) but in order to stay on plan, it needed to be one or the other. Given my state of mind, alcohol prevailed and I decided to forgo the hot wings, tortilla chips and spinach artichoke dip.

That's a pretty big victory for me. I love hot wings (see above). They smelled soooooo good. People were all around me smacking and licking the sauce off their fingers...... it was hard, and I'm not saying I'll beat the urge every time, but I did this time. And that's what matters.

My other big win this week? Down  2 lbs! 


I think next week is Shark Week (that 'time of the month' for those not familiar w/ the term) so who knows what's going to happen. Hopefully no one gets hurt, that's all I'm saying....

Day by day, meal by meal. Have a great weekend everyone!

The Soup

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Work was crazy busy, so it went by fast (which is always a good thing). Unfortunately, I didn't bring my lunch and didn't have time to run out, so I ended up in our Cafeteria downstairs.

Yuck.

Lunch was broccoli, (I'm not sure what they did to it. Roasted maybe? It was ok..... ish)
and then there was the squash/zucchini/tomato... stuff. It was weird. It was ok.....
.....ish.

I also had a Carmel Nut Blast Balance Bar. It was pretty good - kind of like a Snickers, but not as good. But it has less fat and calories, more protein and fiber. It felt like a candy bar. I'd eat it again.

I managed to refrain from snacking the rest of the day (thanks to being so busy), and by the time I left work and finished the grocery shopping, I was pretty famished. (BTW - bad for the wallet when you're hungry. I also had to move away from the strawberry and pineapple samples as people were starting to look at me funny).

  The hubby was going to be pretty late coming home, so I ate a small snack to tide me over, then went ahead and made dinner. 

Ah, dinner.
The Tortellini Soup.

It was good.

First of all, I should learn to follow directions a little better. The recipe calls for 9oz of "Fresh or Frozen" tortellini. I totally blew past that, and dumped in 3/4 of a 12oz bag of dried tortellini.

Holy Tortellini Overload, Batman!
And of course the dried pasta absorbs so much more liquid, so I was adding more chicken stock and water to make it come out right... it was touch and go for awhile!

BUT... extra tortellini aside, the soup was Muy Bueno! I also added a shredded chicken breast - which was good but it totally didn't need.

Because I wanted just a touch of heat, I added about 1/2 teaspoon of crushed red pepper flakes. I also used the canned diced tomatoes instead of whole tomatoes, because that's what I had. I think the bigger chunks of tomato would have been great - but that's totally a chunk preference. (ewww?)

The moral of the story is, the soup is pretty hard to mess up. It would be good w/ some italian turkey sausage, with mushrooms, more tomatoes....

so, here's the link to the recipe. It's quick, tasty, and idiot proof.

and 'scuse my crappy photography. green bowl, dim light, camera phone = funky pictures. Lucky for you I have leftovers for lunch! ;0)

I actually had 2 bowls of this stuff - plus the garlic toast I made using the sandwich thins, 1Tbsp light butter, and garlic powder.

For dessert, approx 1/4 cup of semi sweet choc chips...

And, that's it! My day in food. The good, the bad.... and the "ish".

Cosmic Humor

As is usually the case, I was running late this morning. I didn't have anything quick to grab for breakfast. No fruit, no yogurt... nothing. (I did manage to grab a Lean Cuisine pizza and a pudding cup for lunch, thank goodness)

Of course, I get to work and I'm starving.

So I scrounge around in my desk drawer and find some blah oatmeal. At least it's warm, right? No taste at all is better than a bad taste, right?

Then, inspiration hits. I have a little bag of mulling spice that I brought to put in tea. It's got all kinds of flavors like cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, and orange. It does have some sugar in it, but I won't use much.... Perfect! I'm actually pretty stoked about my "mulled" oatmeal!

So I've got it in the microwave, and it's smelling all yummy, and my tummy is rumbly.... and someone comes into the breakroom, and I have a brief conversation..... and as I turn to check my oatmeal, I find it has erupted in a hot beige magma-like flow all over the freakin' microwave.

Fab - u - lous.

So I cleaned out the microwave in front of many an amused co-worker, and as I had no oatmeal left, I have made do w/ crap coffee for breakfast.

But the oatmeal I secretly licked off my finger tasted pretty good..... *sigh*

Speaking of beige foods, a co-worker brought in some home made hummus yesterday.... it was really good, and my love of hummus is great -so I thought it would be cool to make my own. I'd love to put some extra Kalmata Olives in, and play w/ different spices and such. The ingredient list is really simple: canned chickpeas, garlic, olive oil, tahini paste. After I finally found the tahini paste (by the peanut butter. I figured it would be with the international foods. Silly me.) It was $10 for a smallish jar! So now I'm trying to use my meager math skills to figure out if I'm actually saving anything. (Do you smell smoke?)

So, more to come on that later.

(Random aside: Dear co-worker with the 25lb bag of peanut M&M's. If I have to hear that bag rattle one more time, knowing the cruchy-chocolatey goodness it contains, I will be forced to snatch the bag from your hand and beat you mercilessly with it. XOXO)

Dinner tonight, spaghetti. Whole wheat pasta, veggies, and some lean ground beef. Nothing exciting, but cheap. Yaaaay Cheap!

However, I have found a recipe for Tortellini Soup that looks pretty yummy... and while Tortellini aren't so good for you, I think the amount of actual 'llini's you'd be getting is far less than if you had it as a part of a main dish. The ingredients are pretty simple: olive oil, garlic, onion, oregano, chicken or vegetable broth, canned whole tomatoes, salt and pepper, cheese tortellini, fresh spinach, and Parmesan cheese.



(photo courtesy of http://thepioneerwoman.com/tasty-kitchen/)

Looks really yummy, right? (minus the hunk of bread and slab of cheese, of course)

In other news, back to Intermezzo this weekend. Intermezzo of the evil pizzas and 1/2 price therefore equally evil martinis. 

*whimper*

Keeping my hands to myself

It's 8:07 and I've done reasonably well w/ the no snacking... I came home and made a cup of the 25 cal diet hot chocolate w/ some marshmallows. I added some lite coffee creamer to the mix to help make it a little richer. I think if it hadn't been for the marshmallows, it still would've been really watery and bleh. I think I might try one of the 60 cal packs next time. BUT - it was hot and pretty satisfying!

I did munch on some pretzels later on, but that's it! My husband should be home in a bit, and he's picking up dinner on the way. I'm having a grilled chicken sandwich and steamed veggies. I'm pretty proud of myself for not f_ing this up today!

Now lets chat about tomorrow, shall we?

We have a slight............... problem, A slight problem that is covered in cheese and pepperoni.

*le sigh*
they're bringing in pizza for everyone at work tomorrow. In a way, I'm like "Yeah! Rock On! I love Pizza!", but in another way I'm like "Shit. This sucks. I love pizza".  

So here's my master plan.

I'm going to eat a big breakfast tomorrow, then a snack around 1130. I'm going to bring a salad to eat with the pizza. And I'm planning on having 2 slices of cheese pizza (maybe some veg if possible)

If this goes sideways, and I end up cramming 3 big slices of greasy cheesy goodness in my mouth, then my plan is to do something really light for dinner. Maybe just a salad or something.

Grocery shopping tomorrow night, a busy weekend ahead, and before you know it week 1 of my diet will be behind me. Hopefully next Monday there will be a little LESS behind! (HA HA HA HA HA)