Obviously, I haven't been so great about journaling what I've eaten. I sat down to write a blog post last night, and I couldn't bring myself to type the random gibberish in my mind. Not that today is much better, mind you. But here it goes anyway....

So lets start w/ last Saturday. I did pretty well till we got to Intermezzo. I had 2 martinis, split an order of garlic bread w/ my husband, and ate most of a 10" margherita pizza. I wasn't as bad as I wanted to be. I didn't order the creamy sweet martinis (although I heard the Key Lime Pie martini was outstanding. Not to mention the Mint Choc Chip). I ate most of a thin crust vegetarian pizza, and while I could have wolfed the whole thing down with no problem, I did leave 2 slices. The garlic stick was probably a bad idea, but it just smelled SO awesome, I couldn't resist.

I did my grocery shopping on Sunday, and Monday we got snowed in. I gotta say, I loved it. I lazed around the house and did basically nothing for an entire 2.5 days, and was pretty much at peace with that. I have to say, even though I did basically nothing, I don't feel like I binged all that much. We had healthy food in the house, so I ate oranges and pretzels and special K cereal. I made some pretty tasty diet friendly meals for dinner (the Chicken Tortilla soup was awesome! recipe to follow). 

By Tuesday night, I think cabin fever was beginning to set in a bit, and I was craving something cakey. I had a box of peanut butter brownie mix in the pantry that had been calling my name for some time, so I figured I'd go ahead and get it over with. The brownies were good, I ate my fill, and now they are gone.  The End.

Yesterday I had the dreaded Dr appt at the Cancer Center. Thankfully it wasn't too traumatic. Keep on the progesterone, go for another DNC (ugh!) in a few months, and hopefully I'll be pregnant by the end of the year (that last bit should strike fear in the hearts of millions).

For breakfast afterwards we stopped by Einstein Bros Bagels. I ordered the "everything" thin-bagel, with low fat cream cheese, and a fruit cup. I got the regular sized bagel - and still ate it. Should've taken it back, but I didn't.

Met my hubby for lunch later that day - had the marinated grilled chicken strips (that came over rice pilaf), the spinach with rice, and the bean  soup. Again, should have gotten it without the pilaf. But I didn't. I think the spinach w/ rice was ok, because it was mainly spinach.

Munched on some hummus and pretzels, an orange, and a FF pudding cup, and had a small bowl of Special K w/ bananas for dinner.

Today, I'm back at work and things are back to normal. Cereal and a banana for breakfast, lean cuisine sammich w/ some sunchips and a pudding cup for lunch, and I'll have a yogurt and an orange for a snack in a bit.

Dinner tonight is going old school southern...... pinto beans and collards. I'm going to forgo the cornbread - although I'd loooove to crumble it up in my beans.

Don't judge.


Now I'm trying to plan next week's menu. Here's what I've got so far:

• low fat baked macaroni and cheese w/ diced ham and a side salad
• grilled cheese w/ tomato soup
• crockpot chicken tacos
• low fat cheeseburgers w/ oven fries

So that takes care of my cheesy pasta craving, and my hubby's french fry craving.

Oh, did I mention I lost 4.5lbs? No? Silly me!

I LOST 4.5 LBS!

so, yeah - go me! Hopefully weigh in this Monday will be a reason to celebrate too!

Next up, need to start thinking rewards!

Wow....

looking for some exercise videos to record, I stumbled on this show on FitTV I'm Pregnant and....Morbidly Obese. The show focuses on the plights of various pregnant women..... homeless, bi-polar, hooked on methadone. And morbidly obese? Is that really as bad as being on meth?

So I was expecting something like 400+ lbs

Girl was 278 lbs. And 8 months pregnant.

That stopped me cold. That's less than I weigh! Holy crap.

I knew there were risks to me, if I were to become right now. High blood pressure, gestational diabetes, etc... what I didn't know is that there are risks to the child. It can cause insulin issues for the baby that may be carried on in life, and may cause problems during the actual delivery.

I'm just floored. I mean, I know I'm big. That's obvious.... but I've always been healthy. The problems of diabetes and cancer and high blood pressure seemed so far way. It always seemed like I can't really be that big. Not big enough to cause problems. I thought I had time.... I thought my biggest issues right now were not being able to find anything to wear in Lane Bryant.

It seems wake up calls are poppin' up all over the place.

I went to the Dr in early Dec for (guys, you may want to bow out now) irregular and heavy periods. I figured it was some hormonal thing, they'll give me some meds, and I'll be on my way. An ultrasound and a biopsy diagnosed me with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and polyps (built up areas in my uterus lining that weren't shedding) in my uterus. Surgery was scheduled to remove the polyps and I was put on Metformin.

Right before Christmas, the Dr called to tell me that when she biopsied tissue from the surgery, I also have Hyperplasia without Atypia. That's basically pre-cancerous cells. I was put on Progesterone, and have an appointment to see an Oncologist in a week.

It's not Cancer - and if I had Hyperplasia with Atypia, I'd probably have to have a hysterectomy.... but thankfully I'm not at that level yet.

Still, I don't know if I'm going to be able to have a baby. I don't know how this is going to affect my life. But I know that one of the major causes of both the PCOS and Hyperplasia are being overweight.

I'm feeling really down about everything. Like I've failed as a woman or something. My sitting on my ass and shoving crap in my face has caused me to not be able to fulfill the most basic of female functions?

Sorry, I know this is all doom and gloom, and it's not how I wanted to start the year, that's for sure. I'll snap back out of it... it just put me in a bad spot right off the bat.


So.... topic change.

I was starving when I got off work.. and had to go by the grocery store and try to figure out what to get for dinner for 3 nights for less than $20.

Would you believe I pulled it off? Now, it's no culinary master piece by any stretch - but we're eating healthy for 3 nights.

So here's what we got:
Tonight: salad w/ lettuce (as opposed to...?) roma tomatoes, cukes, and onion.  and a tuna fish sandwich (whitewheat bread, low fat mayo).

Tomorrow night: pork chops baked in a mustard sauce w/ frozen green beans and jasmine rice (ok, the rice isn't great for you - but it's already in the pantry)

Wed night: Breakfast! scrambled eggs w tomatoes and onions (and maybe some spinach if I can scrounge some up), turkey bacon, and toasted english muffin w/ Laughing Cow cheese.

Breakfast for the next few days is the Oatmeal w/ cranberries and walnuts, and lunch is turkey sandwiches wraps w/ laughing cow cheese and tomato soup.

Go me, eh? I do need to work some snacks in there, especially an after work snack. That's where I always screw up royally.

Today, in my fit of starvation, I started eating some left over beef and onion dip (cream cheese, dried beef, and green onion). I'm sure I ate a good 3-5 (ok, probably 5) tablespoons of the dip on some pretzels before sanity returned and I dumped the whole thing in the garbage. I switched to Laughing Cow cheese and pretzels, and it was good and I feel satisfied.

So, yay me, right? And now I'm sitting here blogging instead of finding something else to eat. And now I'm going to watch Iron Chef, change the kitty litter, and do some laundry. And maybe I'll at least look at one of those exercise shows I recorded. :)