Hey There!

Yeah, I know.... it's been awhile!

Ok. A looooooooong while.

But I wanted you to know I'm still here... maybe not here here... but here. I'm still reading your blogs and everything but (obviously) haven't been posting anything.

I am however, continuing to lose weight. Which is the important thing. As I mentioned a few months ago, I came to the realization that I wasn't doing very well on my own. So I joined Weight Watchers and am having pretty good results.

To date, I'm down to 261.2 lbs! 

The month of July has been pretty rough, I'm not gonna lie. The transmission in my Mustang went out (long story, but it's essentially due to a smooth move on my husband's part) which is costing us $4000. Yes. 4K. FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS.

It happened 4th of July weekend, and it STILL makes me wanna hurl just talking about it.

Thankfully, we've managed to work things out, borrow from Peter, to pay Paul, then borrow from Jeff, Frank and Steve to pay the Ford Dealership. With any luck, we'll be back in the Stang-a-lang by the beginning of next week.

All the money woes + splitting a car w/ the hubby (who works a different shift) have made for a very panicky, cranky, and at times depressed girl.

I can't lie.....food has been an issue this month. It's my go-to BFF when I need comfort. I've strayed (more than) a couple times (*cough cough* last night *cough cough*). I've also been doing a pretty crappy job of tracking my meals the past two weeks.

My weigh in is Friday. I'm expecting to be up... but I'm ok. This is life. I'm going to have good days and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks. Just because I get down and make some bad choices, it doesn't make me a failure. Before, when something would happen and my routine got shaken up - I couldn't pull myself back together. I'm getting better at forgiving myself.

I've realized that it can't be fluffy bunnies and rainbows all the time. Life happens. Shit happens. Sometimes your routine and everything else just falls apart. I'm learning that you've got to deal with it and get back on track as soon as you can.

In other news...well, there isn't much other news. Work still sucks, laundry replicates like wet gremlins. I'm still blogging on weight watchers, but I'm going to try and update this more as well. I'm going to attempt to download the app for my phone, so maybe I can do more on the fly. 

I'll post more soon! (I promise!)

love ya!

Spring!

I'm sitting outside on my deck right now, listening to the birds chirp and squirrels rustle around in the trees. I'm wearing a tank top and jammie pants, and am so soooo happy it is finally Friday.

While Fall is my favorite season... there is something about spring that really gladens the heart. The Bradford Pears and Cherry trees are all in bloom, the bare hint of green as you look out at the tree tops, the baskets of hanging flowers at the grocery store. After a long and weary winter, I just want to sit outside and immerse myself in the spring sunshine.



This doesn't really have anything to do with the diet.... other than a sense of peace and well being that I was severely lacking earlier this week. I feel good that I didn't binge and I didn't go off plan. Despite the increased sodium intake and the formidable Shark Week in occurance, I am down 1lb this morning.

I'm settling into my WW groove, getting back into drinking my water and picking veggies and fruits over crap. I'm feeling more confident in my after work snacking, and not leaving so many points for the end of the day "just in case".

I'm still not buying any kind of trigger foods. No chips or crackers, no preportioned ice cream bars or 100 call packs of cookies. As innocent as they may look, and as benign as they may be in their individual portions, I still don't trust myself to stick with just one.

I haven't been walking at night like I need to, but I have been taking a 15 minute break at work and going for a quick little walk. Its nice to be out in the sunshine, and gets me away from my desk and moving,  My goal is to keep doing that most days of the week, and to get back into walking at night.

Going to sign off for the night, starting to get a little chilly out here, and the cats are going to stage a mutiny if I tease them from out here much longer.

Happy Spring!

Pity Party

For the past couple days, I've been feeling pretty crappy. It started Sunday, and even though it was a beautiful warm sunshiney day, I was right on the edge of  'blah'. Fortunately my hubby got me out of the house and out into the warm spring air, and I was ok most of the day.

Sunday night and Monday, I moved fully into blah-dom. No energy, no interest, no nothing. Then Monday afternoon I find out that I have been mysteriously cut from this Six Sigma greenbelt class I was supposed to start. As in, it started yesterday - and no one could be bothered to tell me I would not be participating. I had no idea it was even going on until someone mentioned someone else was in the class. As of a month ago, my name was on the list.

What gives???  This was going to add some serious brownie points to my resume!

So I sent my boss an email asking what happened, and I got completely ignored.

Freaking lovely. If for some reason I couldn't do my project this go 'round, could you not have the decency to tell me?! And when I find out, can you not have the balls to explain WTF happened???

I've been with this company for 10 yrs. I've been in this department for 5. Every review, I get told I am the backbone of the team, a major asset to the company, blah blah blah. But this is what I get? I handle projects far above my pay scale, I deal with issues that should be handled by senior staff..... but I am always passed by and over looked when the kudos and the job offers come around.

I am so sick of this. I've got to find something else.


....whew. That was much more of a rant than I was planning.

So back to the point, I've moved from merely 'blah' to full on depressed. I just want to hide under the covers with my cats and not face the outside world.

I took the day off today, because I really didn't know if I could go in and not tell someone where to stick it.

So I've moped around in my pj's for the entire day. I was calling it a "mental health day", but its really a good old fashioned Pity Party.

On a slightly more positive (and diet related) note, at least I am not feeding my face, as I would typically do during a pity party.

Last night as I was peeling out of work, my first thought was "I want ice cream". Followed quickly by "I could stop by Sonic, get some ice cream and some corn dogs"

Not too long ago, I probably would've done it.

But I stopped myself. I came home, and whether it was real hunger or emotional hunger - I wanted food. So I had a toasted sandwich thin with cucumbers, tomatoes, and hummus. An hour or so later, I was still wanting more, so I ate another of those hummus sandwiches.

My husband stopped by Wendy's on the way home, and I had a Single, no cheese and no mayo. Not the best thing for me, for sure.... but I stayed within my daily points range,

I feel like my weight may be up or about the same this week. While that sucks, I think it's because Shark Week is in full effect (which is also the likely cause for my mental status) and I've also had more sodium from processed foods than normal.

I think next week will be better.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Can I have some cheese with my whine?

What would happen?

It's Lent, and it's Friday, so you know what that means.... no meat. Jamey and I have decided to get a pizza tonight. I love pizza. I'm a total guy (even though I'm not). Pizza, hot wings, beer.... I'm a happy girl.

 But I digress.....

So we're getting pizza, which is obviously not the healthiest thing. So this completely alien thought sprang to mind, ".... what would happen if I asked for light cheese?"

What would happen???

Would they think it's a crank call and hang up?

Would the Earth shift off it's axis? The poles reverse?

Would it cause a rift in the time-space continuum, unleashing hordes of alien zombies onto the planet?

It's a gamble, I'm not going to lie..... so if you see any alien zombies.............well, I'm sorry.

In other news.

This week has had it's share of ups and downs, that's for sure. Wed and Thurs I was in an amazingly crappy mood, ready to bite someones head of at the slightest provocation. That irritability of course ratcheted up my urge to stuff my face something fierce... but I'm happy to announce that not only did I make good food choices and refrain from my post work snack fests, I also made it through Happy Hour yesterday! I did have couple drinks (which I had planned for) but in order to stay on plan, it needed to be one or the other. Given my state of mind, alcohol prevailed and I decided to forgo the hot wings, tortilla chips and spinach artichoke dip.

That's a pretty big victory for me. I love hot wings (see above). They smelled soooooo good. People were all around me smacking and licking the sauce off their fingers...... it was hard, and I'm not saying I'll beat the urge every time, but I did this time. And that's what matters.

My other big win this week? Down  2 lbs! 


I think next week is Shark Week (that 'time of the month' for those not familiar w/ the term) so who knows what's going to happen. Hopefully no one gets hurt, that's all I'm saying....

Day by day, meal by meal. Have a great weekend everyone!

Even though Monday was my official start date for Weight Watchers, I picked Friday as my weigh in day for strategic reasons (meaning, bad things typically happen on the weekend and I need as much recovery time as possible). So all that being said, I had my first official weigh in today and.....
*drumroll please*

I'm down 2.8lbs!

YAAAAAAAY!

So while I'm really happy about my loss, there are actually something I'm happier about (if you can imagine that).

On Wed and Thurs, I walked after work... as in purposeful exercise.

But even THAT is not why I'm feeling so good!

The after work munchies are my downfall. I seem to have no control whatsoever. Somehow or another, be the Grace of God or my own developing willpower (I'm placing my bets on the former) I'm doing SO MUCH better with my afternoon binges.

Wed and Thurs I ate a banana when i got home from my walk - and that's ALL I had till dinner. Tonight I had a banana and a yogurt (I was really hungry). Even though I'm still hungry, I'm actually waiting till dinner (which should be very shortly) instead of mindlessly and uncontrollably eating, then having essentially a 2nd dinner.

I have struggled with this for sooooooooo long. I know I'm not out of the woods yet... it's so easy to fall back into those destructive patterns, but now I think I know I can get past it. It's so motivating, so encouraging to be in control of this!


Other than those victories, I know I've got a lot of potential for disaster this weekend.... a "Breakfast with the Pastor" on Sunday..... who knows what kind of options will be available there. Then there's the general going out to eat/business of life that happens on the weekends. And my husband and I aren't real great at telling each other "No", so if I tell him I'm dying for ice cream - we'll be at Cold Stone within the hour.

Feeling pretty good so far - glad I decided to jump back on the WW bandwagon instead of trying to go it alone!

Have a great night and a fabulous weekend!

I've made it through a whopping 4 days being On Point. So far it's been fairly easy - but isn't it always in the beginning?

Lately, my breakfast has been either an ww english muffin or a bagel thin w/ a Tbsp of peanut butter or some LC cheese (I love that stuff!), and a banana.

Lunch has been turkey on a ww sandwich thin w/ hummus instead of mayo, and a soup at hand. Today I had a leftover cheeseburger from dinner last night (95% lean ground beef, sandwich thin, LF american cheese) and a side salad.

Dinner is kind of all over the place - the cheeseburgers and baked fries last night, dijon chicken breasts w/ mashed potatoes and green beans before that, and chicken breasts marinated in some mexican spices w/ rice and broccoli the night before that. Tonight my husband is supposed to pick up dinner... so not sure what I'll have. But I saved a bunch of points so I wouldn't be so limited..... and

................and...................................
I've got out walking for 30 minutes for 2 nights in a row! I know! Me! Who'd a thunk it?!

Tomorrow is my weigh in day, I'm kind of nervous/excited about what the scale will show. Hopefully good things!

I've also been pretty good w/ drinking my water. Which leads me to some observations.

#1 always pee before you go anywhere. in fact, if you stand up for whatever reason, just go ahead and head to the bathroom. You may not have to go right then, but you will by the time you get there.
     1a) If you are going to be leaving to go anywhere not accessible to a bathroom, then go make double sure you go beforehand. Then wait 5 minutes and go again.

#2  Be mindful of your fiber intake. Any type of fiber one/fiber plus bars should be consumed in the latter part of the day. This is a public service announcement, and failure to do so may cause irreparable damage to your career, your psyche, and the psyche of those around you.

Feel like I did pretty well on eating yesterday...

did I mention these sweet potatoes were really good?

portioned out my 14 baked tortilla chips, was wanting more, so ate some celery w/ the hummus

roasted chicken (from the grocery store. I just had the breast and took the skin off. The potatoes are called "Crash" potatoes - basically you boil a potato till you can stick a fork in it. Then you spray a cooking sheet w/ Pam, put the potato on the sheet and use the bottom of a glass to crush it. Then you drizzle a little olive oil on it, spring S+P, and bake it at 450 for like 20 min. It was ok - I used red potatoes, and the skin was nice and crispy, but overall it was kind of bland.

the broccoli is just regular Steamfresh Broccoli w/ lowfat cheese sauce from the freezer section. It was a quick easy meal - but just ok.

After dinner I was craving something sweet, so I had a handful of marshmellows. 

Did I mention I'm up .4 this week? 284.8.... Yeah, bummer. Kind of expected given the food fest this weekend, but it still sucks.

This is a new week, and today is a new day. And today I'm going to have a healthy portion controlled snack after work, followed up by a healthy portion controlled dinner tonight.

Also going to try and get some of that "E" word in tonight. Not exactly sure what form it will take... but yeah.

Today's Grub:

 Do yourself a favor and be careful w/ the Fiber One..... not only for your health, but for the health and well being of those around you. :/

Left over cheeseburger from last night...

The Monterey Jack and Sundried Tomato Sunchips are pretty tasty!

This yogurt is pretty good - not really chocolately, or even remotely like a Black Forest Cake, but still pretty good.

***Update***

I actually did have a nice portion controlled snack after work! I ate the allotted 18 pretzel sticks + the LC cheese.

I also tried this Vanilla Honey Camomille Tea. I've never been much of a hot tea kinda girl.... but it always sounds so warm and cozy and relaxing. Hot liquids are also supposed to curb your appetite (right? or did I make that up in my head?) So it was pretty good... I don't know if it necessarily curbed my appetite so much as kept my hands/mouth busy. Whatever works, right?

Anyway, on to dinner. Garlic Peppercorn Pork Loin, Cajun Sweet Potatoes, and Steamed Green Beans w/ RF butter and garlic.

I LOVE these sweet potatoes! lovelovelovelovelove! They were spicy, but still sweet. I could eat them by themselves as a snack. What an awesome healthy dinner!

So I feel pretty good about today. On to tomorrow!

Consider........ the Sweet Potato

Did you know Yams and Sweet Potatoes are two different things? I thought they were the same, but according to about.com, the Sweet Potato is the orange critter we all know and love for pies and as a vessel for melted marshmallows. The Yam is actually popular in Latin American and Caribbean cuisine, is generally sweeter, and can grow up to 7 feet in length!

There, now don't you feel enlightened?


Anyway, one of my (many) goals this year is to step out of my culinary comfort zone and make some new and interesting recipes with some new and interesting (and healthy) foods. I've done pretty well so far I think  - the chicken tortilla soup being the stand out star so far.




Tonight, I will attack the Sweet Potato.



Now I've made sweet potato souffle, and candied sweet potatoes, and all sorts of variations of the two. The problem is they're always more of a Thanksgiving/Christmas type side dish (that could easily do double duty as a dessert), and any health benefits are essentially negated by the copious amounts of sugar, marshmallows, jams, juice, and more sugar added to the mix.

I could do the standard baked sweet potato - but what do you add to that? brown sugar, cinnamon, and butter?

So my challenge to myself is to make a healthy savory sweet potato side dish for dinner tonight - and for my husband to eat it.

And that, my friends, is the true challenge here.

I love my husband, I truly do. He's my best friend, my confidant, my lover and my accomplice. But he's not the most adventurous eater. He tends to like his meat and potatoes (and by potatoes I mean white), his burgers and fries, his hamburger helper and... well, need I say more?  The tortilla soup was a stretch for him. He didn't like all that "stuff" floating around together in there so he had to close his eyes and take a bite on a leap of faith. (BTW, he really liked it!)

He's never eaten a sweet potato outside of a holiday dinner. Not even a baked one w/ all the sugar and stuff.

I am about to change that.

Tonight we're having roasted pork loin, steamed green beans, and...............................

CAJUN BAKED SWEET POTATOES. 

Are you excited? My husband doesn't know it yet.... He'll see them when they hit the plate. They have really good reviews at allrecipes.com, so I've got high hopes!

A little sweet, a little more spicy.... I'm hoping this can be a regular into the rotation! I'll let you know how it turns out!

UGH

Today I could feasibly beat someone to death with a tape dispenser. Know what I'm saying? It's Monday, it's that time of the month, the computers at work are acting up, my boss is asking me to do stupid crap... people's very breath is annoying me. There's really no shortage to the list. I don't know what has set me off..... but man, watch out!

Aside from being generally annoyed, I'm a little disappointed in myself, too. This weekend was pretty bad. I didn't feel good, and basically let that give me permission to eat whatever I wanted.

I've been pretty lax in taking pictures of what I've eaten, too. Here's a recap of the past couple days....
Wednesday:

 

Not so bad...

Not so bad. Notice 1/2 the baked potato...eh? eh??? 

Choc Milk for dessert... I was still hungry.

Thursday:

there's that other 1/2 baked potato and leftover pork chop (baked, not fried!)

bagel thin w/ RF cream cheese when I got home...

uh oh.... carry out! Spicy Thai Basil Chicken. Didn't eat it all though!

Friday (here's where we start going downhill....)

 

a bowl of chili and 3 hot wings.


and cake......

but it's made better by lowfat yogurt later, right?

Dinner Friday? Leftover chili......

Feeling like crap Friday night... lowfat hot choc, Ibuprofen PM, and a heating pad makes it all better....



Saturday:

mid-day snack, and doing ok so far...

uh oh. How did we end up at a Mexican restaurant??? Those chips! That cheese!

Did I mention the cheese??? 

Due to some issues, we ended up getting a free order of Queso. Which is EXACTLY what I needed. *sigh*

 

 *Not actually my fajitas. My fajitas had chorizo and cheese on them.

I'd talk about being proud I didn't eat all of it, but truth be told I couldn't because I had just stuffed my face w/ cheese dip. :/

Super Bowl Sunday:

 oh goody, leftover chili again....

and since it's the Super Bowl - you have to eat the appropriate food, right?

Domino's deep dish pepperoni and mushroom pizza.... (4 slices, I believe)

 and a Chocolate Lava Crunch Cake.

So, I put my sins before you.... admonish at will..........

I know ya'll are too nice. You'll tell me to get back on the wagon. And I have. I've done well today, I took a quick 10 minute walk earlier to get my head back on straight, and I plan on trying to get a little bit of the "E" word in tonight between laundry and house cleaning.

I was feeling crampy and yucky and generally sorry for myself, and I comforted myself as I knew how. I can't say it won't happen again, but I'll try to deal with it better next time.

So here's what I've had today:

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel Thin w/ Promise Spread



A bowl of Fiber One Raisin Bran Crunch + 1% milk for lunch. I'm sure it was more like 2 or 3 servings instead of 1... but it's lunch and hopefully it will keep me full for awhile.

oh yeah, and an orange. BTW. I'm getting sick of peeling oranges. I want someone to peel my oranges for me.



*Update*

I told my husband to get rid of the leftover pizza. Of course, there it sat in the fridge when I got home - waiting for me like a venomous spider.

Is it some kind of internal self -loathing that had a piece in my hand before I even knew it? It wasn't even all that good! But I kept eating it - even while I was thinking What the F@#*! am I doing?!

I threw the rest out, and in the grand scheme of things 1 piece isn't that bad.... but I'm disappointed in myself.

Evil, thy name is cheese. .......or pepperoni. Definitley one of the two.

Anyway, had a decent dinner:

Cheeseburgers and fries - with 96% lean beef, RF cheese, and oven fries. 

and a pudding cup