Spring!

I'm sitting outside on my deck right now, listening to the birds chirp and squirrels rustle around in the trees. I'm wearing a tank top and jammie pants, and am so soooo happy it is finally Friday.

While Fall is my favorite season... there is something about spring that really gladens the heart. The Bradford Pears and Cherry trees are all in bloom, the bare hint of green as you look out at the tree tops, the baskets of hanging flowers at the grocery store. After a long and weary winter, I just want to sit outside and immerse myself in the spring sunshine.



This doesn't really have anything to do with the diet.... other than a sense of peace and well being that I was severely lacking earlier this week. I feel good that I didn't binge and I didn't go off plan. Despite the increased sodium intake and the formidable Shark Week in occurance, I am down 1lb this morning.

I'm settling into my WW groove, getting back into drinking my water and picking veggies and fruits over crap. I'm feeling more confident in my after work snacking, and not leaving so many points for the end of the day "just in case".

I'm still not buying any kind of trigger foods. No chips or crackers, no preportioned ice cream bars or 100 call packs of cookies. As innocent as they may look, and as benign as they may be in their individual portions, I still don't trust myself to stick with just one.

I haven't been walking at night like I need to, but I have been taking a 15 minute break at work and going for a quick little walk. Its nice to be out in the sunshine, and gets me away from my desk and moving,  My goal is to keep doing that most days of the week, and to get back into walking at night.

Going to sign off for the night, starting to get a little chilly out here, and the cats are going to stage a mutiny if I tease them from out here much longer.

Happy Spring!

Pity Party

For the past couple days, I've been feeling pretty crappy. It started Sunday, and even though it was a beautiful warm sunshiney day, I was right on the edge of  'blah'. Fortunately my hubby got me out of the house and out into the warm spring air, and I was ok most of the day.

Sunday night and Monday, I moved fully into blah-dom. No energy, no interest, no nothing. Then Monday afternoon I find out that I have been mysteriously cut from this Six Sigma greenbelt class I was supposed to start. As in, it started yesterday - and no one could be bothered to tell me I would not be participating. I had no idea it was even going on until someone mentioned someone else was in the class. As of a month ago, my name was on the list.

What gives???  This was going to add some serious brownie points to my resume!

So I sent my boss an email asking what happened, and I got completely ignored.

Freaking lovely. If for some reason I couldn't do my project this go 'round, could you not have the decency to tell me?! And when I find out, can you not have the balls to explain WTF happened???

I've been with this company for 10 yrs. I've been in this department for 5. Every review, I get told I am the backbone of the team, a major asset to the company, blah blah blah. But this is what I get? I handle projects far above my pay scale, I deal with issues that should be handled by senior staff..... but I am always passed by and over looked when the kudos and the job offers come around.

I am so sick of this. I've got to find something else.


....whew. That was much more of a rant than I was planning.

So back to the point, I've moved from merely 'blah' to full on depressed. I just want to hide under the covers with my cats and not face the outside world.

I took the day off today, because I really didn't know if I could go in and not tell someone where to stick it.

So I've moped around in my pj's for the entire day. I was calling it a "mental health day", but its really a good old fashioned Pity Party.

On a slightly more positive (and diet related) note, at least I am not feeding my face, as I would typically do during a pity party.

Last night as I was peeling out of work, my first thought was "I want ice cream". Followed quickly by "I could stop by Sonic, get some ice cream and some corn dogs"

Not too long ago, I probably would've done it.

But I stopped myself. I came home, and whether it was real hunger or emotional hunger - I wanted food. So I had a toasted sandwich thin with cucumbers, tomatoes, and hummus. An hour or so later, I was still wanting more, so I ate another of those hummus sandwiches.

My husband stopped by Wendy's on the way home, and I had a Single, no cheese and no mayo. Not the best thing for me, for sure.... but I stayed within my daily points range,

I feel like my weight may be up or about the same this week. While that sucks, I think it's because Shark Week is in full effect (which is also the likely cause for my mental status) and I've also had more sodium from processed foods than normal.

I think next week will be better.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Can I have some cheese with my whine?

What would happen?

It's Lent, and it's Friday, so you know what that means.... no meat. Jamey and I have decided to get a pizza tonight. I love pizza. I'm a total guy (even though I'm not). Pizza, hot wings, beer.... I'm a happy girl.

 But I digress.....

So we're getting pizza, which is obviously not the healthiest thing. So this completely alien thought sprang to mind, ".... what would happen if I asked for light cheese?"

What would happen???

Would they think it's a crank call and hang up?

Would the Earth shift off it's axis? The poles reverse?

Would it cause a rift in the time-space continuum, unleashing hordes of alien zombies onto the planet?

It's a gamble, I'm not going to lie..... so if you see any alien zombies.............well, I'm sorry.

In other news.

This week has had it's share of ups and downs, that's for sure. Wed and Thurs I was in an amazingly crappy mood, ready to bite someones head of at the slightest provocation. That irritability of course ratcheted up my urge to stuff my face something fierce... but I'm happy to announce that not only did I make good food choices and refrain from my post work snack fests, I also made it through Happy Hour yesterday! I did have couple drinks (which I had planned for) but in order to stay on plan, it needed to be one or the other. Given my state of mind, alcohol prevailed and I decided to forgo the hot wings, tortilla chips and spinach artichoke dip.

That's a pretty big victory for me. I love hot wings (see above). They smelled soooooo good. People were all around me smacking and licking the sauce off their fingers...... it was hard, and I'm not saying I'll beat the urge every time, but I did this time. And that's what matters.

My other big win this week? Down  2 lbs! 


I think next week is Shark Week (that 'time of the month' for those not familiar w/ the term) so who knows what's going to happen. Hopefully no one gets hurt, that's all I'm saying....

Day by day, meal by meal. Have a great weekend everyone!

we're all crazy

I hate to admit I watch things like The Bachelor/Bachelorette and America's Next Top Model. But alas, I've been suckered into it.

However, I have noticed something. Maybe not quite an epiphany - but lets call it an awakening.

It doesn't matter how drop dead gorgeous you are. How flawless your skin, how golden your hair, how perfect your smile, how long your legs, how slim your ankle, how tiny your waist..... us chicks, we're all a little crazy.

We all root out our most heinous imperfection, and dwell on it - nurse it like a prized rose, These girls, I would take one look at them and cower in a corner, feeling like an ugly troll. Who'd have thought those girls have those same insecurities?

BTW - on a totally unrelated topic, tonight marks a full calendar week I have gone without stuffing my face in front of the tv when I get home from work!
Conquering chips today... tomorrow the WORLD!!!!

Even though Monday was my official start date for Weight Watchers, I picked Friday as my weigh in day for strategic reasons (meaning, bad things typically happen on the weekend and I need as much recovery time as possible). So all that being said, I had my first official weigh in today and.....
*drumroll please*

I'm down 2.8lbs!

YAAAAAAAY!

So while I'm really happy about my loss, there are actually something I'm happier about (if you can imagine that).

On Wed and Thurs, I walked after work... as in purposeful exercise.

But even THAT is not why I'm feeling so good!

The after work munchies are my downfall. I seem to have no control whatsoever. Somehow or another, be the Grace of God or my own developing willpower (I'm placing my bets on the former) I'm doing SO MUCH better with my afternoon binges.

Wed and Thurs I ate a banana when i got home from my walk - and that's ALL I had till dinner. Tonight I had a banana and a yogurt (I was really hungry). Even though I'm still hungry, I'm actually waiting till dinner (which should be very shortly) instead of mindlessly and uncontrollably eating, then having essentially a 2nd dinner.

I have struggled with this for sooooooooo long. I know I'm not out of the woods yet... it's so easy to fall back into those destructive patterns, but now I think I know I can get past it. It's so motivating, so encouraging to be in control of this!


Other than those victories, I know I've got a lot of potential for disaster this weekend.... a "Breakfast with the Pastor" on Sunday..... who knows what kind of options will be available there. Then there's the general going out to eat/business of life that happens on the weekends. And my husband and I aren't real great at telling each other "No", so if I tell him I'm dying for ice cream - we'll be at Cold Stone within the hour.

Feeling pretty good so far - glad I decided to jump back on the WW bandwagon instead of trying to go it alone!

Have a great night and a fabulous weekend!

I've made it through a whopping 4 days being On Point. So far it's been fairly easy - but isn't it always in the beginning?

Lately, my breakfast has been either an ww english muffin or a bagel thin w/ a Tbsp of peanut butter or some LC cheese (I love that stuff!), and a banana.

Lunch has been turkey on a ww sandwich thin w/ hummus instead of mayo, and a soup at hand. Today I had a leftover cheeseburger from dinner last night (95% lean ground beef, sandwich thin, LF american cheese) and a side salad.

Dinner is kind of all over the place - the cheeseburgers and baked fries last night, dijon chicken breasts w/ mashed potatoes and green beans before that, and chicken breasts marinated in some mexican spices w/ rice and broccoli the night before that. Tonight my husband is supposed to pick up dinner... so not sure what I'll have. But I saved a bunch of points so I wouldn't be so limited..... and

................and...................................
I've got out walking for 30 minutes for 2 nights in a row! I know! Me! Who'd a thunk it?!

Tomorrow is my weigh in day, I'm kind of nervous/excited about what the scale will show. Hopefully good things!

I've also been pretty good w/ drinking my water. Which leads me to some observations.

#1 always pee before you go anywhere. in fact, if you stand up for whatever reason, just go ahead and head to the bathroom. You may not have to go right then, but you will by the time you get there.
     1a) If you are going to be leaving to go anywhere not accessible to a bathroom, then go make double sure you go beforehand. Then wait 5 minutes and go again.

#2  Be mindful of your fiber intake. Any type of fiber one/fiber plus bars should be consumed in the latter part of the day. This is a public service announcement, and failure to do so may cause irreparable damage to your career, your psyche, and the psyche of those around you.

So, uh.... hey there. I know it's been a while............

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth. Well... maybe I kinda sorta did. The diet/weight loss earth anyway. I can list all the reasons... but really, they aren't reasons. They're excuses.

I realized I can't do this by myself. I can't just make this blanket "I'm going to eat healthy and lose weight" statement and *wham* I'm losing weight. I need portion control. I need to really pay attention to what I'm doing. I need someone or something saying when I've had enough. Otherwise, I'm just spinning my wheels.

So I broke down and (re)joined Weight Watchers. It's a good program, it's recommended by Dr's, and it worked for me in the past. I let my desire for instant results get the best of me, I became apathetic and stopped counting and tracking, and that's when it stopped working.

Yep, I'm counting points again. Not my favorite thing, but it is effective. Monday was my first official day, and I will weigh in on Friday. I'm just doing it online for now, I'd like to do meetings, but the meetings/e-tools combo is just too expensive for me, and if I have to pick one,  I'd rather have instant access to all the points values and trackers.

This time around, the program is a little different. Points values are calculated based on Fat, Protein, Carbs, and Fiber. Generally, points values on foods are a bit higher - but the majority of fruits and veggies are "0" so you're free to eat those ad nauseum. To compensate, they've done some other advanced calculations involving the position of the Moon when in the house of Aries and so forth, and you have more Daily Points and more Weekly Points to spend.... so it all balances out. I'm still trying to get used to it, and trying to figure out what my "go-to" foods/meals are going to be.

Still haven't gotten around much to that dreaded "E" Word. I told myself I was going to take a walk after work today, but then ended up running by the grocery store, and then it was about dark by the time I got home, and then my sofa started calling my name...... all excuses, I know.

For now I'm going to focus on tracking and staying "On Point", The rest will come, and sooner rather than later.

On a side note, tried the new Fiber Plus flavor "Coconut Carmel Fudge". Let me just say - Y U M! It tastes kind of like a Samoa GS cookie! I mean, no it's not as good - few things this side of the Pearly Gates are, but it's pretty freakin tasty!

BTW, part of the reason I stopped blogging so much is they changed the Internet access at work, so I can't get on to a lot of my favorite blogs and sites. Bastards! How dare you make me work at work!

When I get home, I tend to not want to look at the computer as much - but I'm going to try and be better about updating.

Carla - thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to check up on me! You have no idea how much it means to me that you thought of me!